QT 1 Peter 1:6-12

6 -7I know how great this makes you feel, even though you have to put up with every kind of aggravation in the meantime. Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it's your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory.

Aggravation! LOL.... This makes me chuckle just a little, ok really it's more of a sarcastic giggle. I am currently being tested more than I thought I would be. I've already been through the financial crisis more than once, why is this happening again? So, when Peter says that I'll come out of that fire refined... well, I guess that's why I'm in this fire. I know that all that happens in my life is for a reason, even though I never really know why. So, I read this are realize that my faith is being put to the test and in that fire. It's the only true way for me to get stronger in my faith. My faith will be His victory.

8 -9You never saw him, yet you love him. You still don't see him, yet you trust him—with laughter and singing. Because you kept on believing, you'll get what you're looking forward to: total salvation.

Today I cannot see Him. I know He's with me, but I'm just struggling to see Him. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. I must keep believing that HE will pull me through this.

10 -12The prophets who told us this was coming asked a lot of questions about this gift of life God was preparing. The Messiah's Spirit let them in on some of it—that the Messiah would experience suffering, followed by glory. They clamored to know who and when. All they were told was that they were serving you, you who by orders from heaven have now heard for yourselves—through the Holy Spirit—the Message of those prophecies fulfilled. Do you realize how fortunate you are? Angels would have given anything to be in on this!

So, Jesus suffered then was glorified. Well... I guess that's why we're still a suffering people. How fortunate? Hmmm... some days I feel that my salvation is the only thing I have going for me. That would be today. I am totally greatful for Jesus dying on the cross for me. Every time I think about this, I wonder why. I know I am not worthy of that gift.

QT- 1 Peter

1 Peter 1 MSG

1 -2 I, Peter, am an apostle on assignment by Jesus, the Messiah, writing to exiles scattered to the four winds. Not one is missing, not one forgotten. God the Father has his eye on each of you, and has determined by the work of the Spirit to keep you obedient through the sacrifice of Jesus. May everything good from God be yours!

This is a much needed book for me to study this month. When Peter tell us that God hasn't forgotten me, what do I think of? ... honestly... sometimes it's "yea right" even when I know this is not true. God has his eyes on me... watching me and is with me always. Just these two verses themselves says so much to me right now. Things in my life are horrible right now and I need to get back to where God wants me... no matter what it takes... I must do this. And as for being scattered to the four winds... I'm definately one of those that is scattered. I know that God has moved to to where I am for a reason. This move was totally for Him. He made EVERYTHING fall into place for us to purchase this house 10 years ago. He's allowed things to happen to strengthen me and test me. I'm being tested again.

A New Life

3 -5 What a God we have! And how fortunate we are to have him, this Father of our Master Jesus! Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we've been given a brand-new life and have everything to live for, including a future in heaven—and the future starts now! God is keeping careful watch over us and the future. The Day is coming when you'll have it all—life healed and whole.

Just knowing that God has given me a new life... a heaven ... looking at heaven... I wonder what it will be like, but sometimes I don't. When I don't wonder it's because I already know that it will be so much more than what I can even try to come up with. Yea, the future starts now. So, today I've done the things I need to do.. I took my meds this morning, which I keep forgetting to do. I'm giving time to God. This is the only way for me to get better. To get out of this funky depression that I'm in. I know it's affecting everyone I see. I know they can see it. I'm trying, that's what counts. Knowing that God is watching me and is with me always does help. He will forever be standing by me, holding me up when I feel like falling down, pushing me in the direction He wants me to go in... HE will be there for me, no matter if people aren't. This is what I truely need to focus on. I need to trust that He has a plan.

I need to pray more as well. Things I'm praying for...

My sister... Will to get a job soon... I really don't want to deal with the financial stresses we dealt with before, I don't know if I can do it again... honestly... Strength to get up each day with a positive attitude. Strength to get through each day ... stay focused on God...

These are just a few things that I need to continually pray about. I know that what I'm dealing with right now is really not helping anyone. God doesn't want me to be worring, I know this... it's so hard not to worry. It's so hard to stay positive all the time. God will be glorified in the end... that's all that matters.

I am but a servent of His... now I need to serve others for His glory.

It's Friday

Yes, today is Friday. Probably a good thing too. This has been an interresting week. I've had a new little girl start at the daycare, she's such a sweetie. Very easy-going and loving.

My computer is dead so I'm using one of the kids' laptops. Otherwise I'd be going through internet withdrawl.... LOL..So that's been one frustration this week. Not too big but enough.

So, Satan was attacking me this morning. I know why too. This is what happened...

One of my neighbors called the police on my barking dogs, again. Of course they bark in the morning when people are dropping off their kids, but it wasn't any louder or longer than any other morning. Luckily I didn't get ticketed... it's a $50 fine! Unfortunately, I did get a little flustered, however, I figured out what really happened. Satan wanted to attack someone... God said to him that he could have me today. So, I'll change my name to Job today.

I am grateful that God thinks I can handle these things. I know it's going to happen as I get stronger in my faith. As I continue reading my bible and learning how to be a better me. I know that God is always here with me. This is so amazing! I feel really loved right now by God. I hope everyone can feel this at one point in their life. God is glorious!

QT - More about Quest and Heaven

At Quest Camp we got a boatload of wonderful scriptures to study out. Our first full day was on Monday. What a day! Where to begin? Well... let's start at the beginning... God was gracious and woke me up in the morning feeling rested. The first time in a LONG time. So, I'm sure some of the tired feelings I have is from stress. On Monday we studied out Heaven. It's always much easier when it's written out for me to study out for a quiet time with God.

So, Heaven....

What do you look forward to? (vacation, trip, birthday, concert, sports game, etc) and why do you look forward to it?

I look forward to everything listed and more. Usually this is because I'm excited about what could happen. Excited about the fun I'll have. I was very excited before I went to camp, and rightfully so, I totally enjoyed myself.

When you imagine heaven, what is it like?

Being totally surrounded by love, caring, warm emotions. No pain and lots of fun.


Rev 21:1 Then I saw "a new heaven and a new earth," [a] for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. 2 I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Look! God's dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4 'He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death' [b] or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
5 He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."
6 He said to me: "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. 7 Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children. 8 But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death."
The New Jerusalem, the Bride of the Lamb
9 One of the seven angels who had the seven bowls full of the seven last plagues came and said to me, "Come, I will show you the bride, the wife of the Lamb." 10 And he carried me away in the Spirit to a mountain great and high, and showed me the Holy City, Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God. 11 It shone with the glory of God, and its brilliance was like that of a very precious jewel, like a jasper, clear as crystal. 12 It had a great, high wall with twelve gates, and with twelve angels at the gates. On the gates were written the names of the twelve tribes of Israel. 13 There were three gates on the east, three on the north, three on the south and three on the west. 14 The wall of the city had twelve foundations, and on them were the names of the twelve apostles of the Lamb.

Unfortunately, I'm out of time. The doorbell rang and woke up one of the daycare kids, extremely early.

Quest Camp

Well, I'm going to try to blog here about my adventures last week. On Aug 1st, we moved Angel into her first apartment. Yes she has roommates, however, it was still weird to see our little girl moving off to a new life as an adult.

Sunday... Aug 2nd....

I'm off to camp! This was the start to an amazing adventure. I had more fun than I ever thought I could. It started Sunday by getting muself to camp. Once there, I found my cabin. Well, at least there were two girls in my cabin from my region. I knew one. Well, this week was just so amazing. I got outside my comfort zone right off. The counselors were introduced to the campers to music. We were supposed to dance down the isle toward the front of the group... about 165 campers that is. So, that was way out of my comfort zone. But I did it anyway. Caitlynn was at camp as well and recorded me.

Sunday we didn't have any messages, but Monday started off with deep messages. Monday morning's message was about Heaven and the afternoon message was about marriage. It was so awesome. I can't even fully discribe the amazing information given to everyone. Of course the messages got even deeper... Tuesday was about Hell and dating, Wednesday about God's passionate desier, God's design for attraction. Thursday was about the World and the draw of the World (geared toward the teens of course), and Friday...In the world, but not of the world and How to take it home.

What really sticks out in my mind about the whole week is the kids. They are so energetic, excited and loving. They were so amazing last week. Kids were helping to pick up people's dishes after meals. During the Open Mic Night, they encouraged each other. If someone on stage made a mistake, they would cheer on that person and tell them they could do it. If it were anywhere else, they would have been boo-ed off the stage. The teens are so amazing.

I am so blessed that I could go last week. I really want to go as a counselor again next year. I met some amazing people and started some wonderful friendships.

My current goal is to start posting my quiet times here again. I would love to share them with anyone who is interrested in seeing how God works in our lives. He really does.

Fighting the fight

Well, I didn't get very far with The Love Dare. Honestly, I know my heart wasn't in it. I will get there. God has plans for me and I'm aware of that. Today is July 4th. Happy Independence Day to those of us in the USA.

There is much going through my head this week. It's been a rollercoaster of a week for me. I am truely struggling with much. Will is currently not working, which can cause tension in the house. I totally agreed with him about leaving the company he was at. I just pray that God will continue to provide us with the financial means to pay our bills. I know that He has in the past and will do so. I just don't know His time frame.

Fighting the fight.... God tells us in the Bible that we will have battles and a cross to bare. I carry my cross... I fight my fight. Some days are easier than others. Today I even have difficulty finding the passage I want to share.

Romans 5:
1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we [a] have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we [b] boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we [c] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Here is the passage of truth for today. Especially verses 3-4... "suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."

Getting through each day to glorify God. Loving the life I have. Seeing the beauty in everything around me. These are the things I try to do each day. Some days are more difficult than others.

I've been feeling down. There's no reason for it. It's time to get out of the slump. I know that it's Satan trying to attack me. This happens when people are looking toward God. As my friend learns more about the glory of God, I will be attacked as will she. I need to pray even more and stay in the Word every day. I know that God will prevail. He will win this battle.

For those who do not understand what I'm saying, ask me about it. Look into the Bible. It's the truth. It's the way to Heaven. Jesus is the way! The only way.

Last night my kitty got out. I just thank God that he was sitting on the back deck when Will let the dogs out this morning. He snuck out sometime last night when someone let the dogs out or in. I had no idea. I am just so glad he's ok. My poor kitty was hiding for a while this morning. Honestly, it was by God that he didn't get hurt. A few nights ago there were 3 cats fighting in the yard behind us. I'm so glad my kitty is fine.

QT - The Love Dare

I have begun a new book today. It is entitled "The Love Dare." Well, each day there is a new "dare" for one to partake in. Today is Patience. Well, do I have patience? I know I do as I would not be able to do my job without it.

1 Corinthians 13:4 TNIV Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud

So, I must begin this journey with an open heart and mind. I know it will be difficult but my marriage is worth working on through my own changes. So for right now, I'm focusing on being patient with everything that I do. Everything that I say. Everything.

I will need this patience with me today. My son is still misbehaving at school. Things around the house need to be addressed. I am very stressed out over many things in my daily life. I need to focus on God today. On the patience He has given me... and I will use it. Patience and positive thoughts, that's the way to go today.

QT - Mark 4:35

Jesus Calms the Storm
Mark 4:35 That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, "Let us go over to the other side." 36 Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. 37 A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. 38 Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?"
39 He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.
40 He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"
41 They were terrified and asked each other, "Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!"

To look at what Jesus did this day is amazing. God gave Him the athority to do these things. On this day the disciples were scared... how many times are we scared or worried about something? Don't we really understand that He is in control. Vs 40: He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"

Faith is the key. We need to have faith that He will pull us through anything. No matter what it is. God will take care of us. The truth of the matter is that God matters. We will always have problems inour lives. In our daily routines. Never will we be problem free. It is how we choose to handle these problems. Will you get angry at the person how cuts you off when you're driving? What about the person infront of you in express line that has more than 20 items? Honestly, it's not worth it for you. What is worth it is picking something up off the floor when someone else drops it. Opening the door for the person after you. Simple things that we can do every day can help others see God's love for us.

I may ramble on and on... Just know that God is with you every day. He's your person cheering squad if you let Him be.

QT - Jer 29:11

Jer 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future

I am so grateful that God has plans for me. That He knows me so well. As I learn more about how He loves me, I become so much more grateful for my life. I know there are so many things that are stressful in it, day in and day out. However, I also know that God has given me the opportunity to deal with it. I get to choose how I want to handle what He's given me. I hope I can do it all according to His word. I want to be the best Christian I can be. Knowing these things has helped me a great deal. Knowing that Jesus died for me. He died an excruciating death... for me. Then he was risen from the grave. Yesterday was the anniversary of that. That's what Easter is all about. Not about candy, bunnies or any of those worldly things. It's about Jesus giving up his life for me. For dying on that cross in agony. He didn't have to, he could have stopped it. He didn't because he knew that if it didn't happen then I would have no way to reach Heaven. That I would have no way to find God. That the scriptures would not be fulfilled. How horrible would that be!

Imagine how much this planet depends on God. We may not see it, but He did create this world. He created the stars. The wind, the rain, the bugs, the people. Everything. Today it's raining outside so the flowers can grow. So my trees can have leaves on them. There's so much that He has given me. I feel sad for those who do not see His love yet. So many people do not see it yet. That He loves us so much. How alone one must feel. I see Him everywhere I go, sometimes even when I don't want to see Him. Being a true Christian is harder than anything else. We cannot conform to the world. We need to stay strong in faith. Not wavering from our beliefs. Not giving in to our friends in the world.

God will win the battle. He is awesome and wonderful. He gave me life. He will continue to lead me on this journey. I just hope I can totally enjoy it as I should.

A New Beginning

Well, I'm really hoping it's a new beginning. Will and I have started Weight Watchers again. We're not registered with them, but we're using the concept and tools. So, we started yesterday. We are having a contest as well. Like on Biggest Looser, mind you we've only watched about 20 mins of that show. We're competing for the most percentage lost each week.

As of right now, I'm doing fine. I will start using the Wii Fit at naptime (at least until summer break). I also want to get back outside walking. I would love to be able to do the Bix7 again this year. It's been 5 years since I could do that.

This is the motivation I'm needing. I am hoping that I learn how to eat healthier AND increase my exercise drastically. I want to do it. I need to do it, for me. I would love to get down at least one size in my jeans!

So, I will blog things about that as well as my quiet times. I am really hoping to improve on many things in my life. My health and spiritual walk are top on my list!

QT - Life in the Spirit

Gal 5: Life by the Spirit
13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature [a]; rather, serve one another humbly in love. 14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." [b] 15 If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17 For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever [c] you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
19 The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

Our life in the Spirit... If we obey the scriptures of God, He will prevail. This is how God wants us to live. : rather, serve one another humbly in love. 16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control

These scriptures are so important. I need to make sure I put them in the front of my mind every day. That I act upon them. That I remember how God wants me to live. If I stay focused on Him, my sinful nature will not win... God will. Satan will be lost in my life. God will shine from my heart.

These are the things I want out of my life. I want to have a spirit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. These are what I will be focusing on this week.

Crazy dayz

Well, this past weekend was the Blue and Gold ceremony for the Cub Scouts. So, Tanis is finally a BOY Scout! The day was great. A bit exhausting, but totally worth it. He's already had his first Boy Scout meeting and is very encouraged. I am really hoping that this will encourge change in his attitude... both toward life and school. I want him to see the great things in this world. I believe that scouts will help him.

Now, why do my dreams get so goofy? Who knows! Ok, so we had 3 cats in the house and 2 dogs. The dogs were smaller than the ones we have. One cat was blonde like Simba, the other two were black with white markings. Why is this so prevalent? I don't know. So the pee smell in the house was driving me nuts. Come to find that both the black cats had kittens and there were a few puppies around here too! Go figure. One cat was really funny looking. Blonde, went to bite me when I picked it up. It had two rows of teeth like a shark!

Boy do my dreams get weird!

I am so grateful that God has allowed me to have this life of mine. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have all those friends to help me get through the rough times. God placed them in my life at the time I needed them. I just wish I could let them know how truely happy I am now. I know that there is a reason for all that I struggle with and I know that God is on my side. I have my own personal cheering section! Amazing that God is!

I pray that my family can see what I see in Him. How wonderful He truely is. How no matter what I do, He's still there for me. Loving me and forgiving me. I try not to screw up and sin, but I know there are times when I do. Those are the times that I need to repent and not repeat.

His greatest gift to us is Jesus!

QT - 2Cor 10:5

2 Cor 10:5We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

This is one of the scriptures covered last night at midweek. I wrote it down several times so I could remember it. I think that it is very important. I need to remember to "take captive every thought" like God tells me to do here.

I know that sometimes we loose track of what's going on. We all have busy hectic lives. Unfortunately, I know the way my mind works. I need this passage every day. I need to remind my self that what I think DOES matter. God knows what I'm thinking. So, the next time I get frustrated because someone doesn't do their chores... instead of getting angry at them, I should discipline them (ok, only with my kids). God has so much wisdom in the Bible for us to use. Why can't I remember it and quote it all the time? This would make it much easier, so I guess that's why.

I need to learn and become wise myself. Through the teachings of His word and through my life. God knows what I struggle with. He knows how I am feeling. He knows all that happens in my life and within my heart. I just pray for Him to cleanse it daily and renew my love for Him.

As we come to the end of January, I am looking forward to spring. It's been cold here, just like January is supposed to be, but I'm looking forward to warmer weather. What's really sad is that 40F sounds great! Just wait... summer will be here and I'll be wanting it to cool off. Never pleased with the weather... ok, not always.

Today I am grateful for heat, all the necessities that God's provided. I am grateful for the friends that I have. For those who God has put in my path for me to cherish for who they really are.

QT Mark 1:35-39

Mark 1: 35 Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. 36 Simon and his companions went to look for him, 37 and when they found him, they exclaimed: "Everyone is looking for you!"
38 Jesus replied, "Let us go somewhere else—to the nearby villages—so I can preach there also. That is why I have come." 39 So he traveled throughout Galilee, preaching in their synagogues and driving out demons.

Can you imagine having get away to have time with your Father??? I totally understand why Jesus did this. He wanted time alone with God. No distractions. I feel today that the most important part of this verse is...verse 35... Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed

Today I am totally exhausted. There's no school due to high windchill, so I have extra kids. That's not too bad, really. I'm just tired and edgy to beging with. I was up at 4:15am with Will. He woke me up after that to say goodbye. Then at 5am the phone rang. THen my alarm goes off at 5:30. I've been trying to get out of bed earlier but it's just not working. I crawled out of bed at 6:25am. I'm hoping to get to bed early tonight.

The Pinewood Derby is Saturday. I'll be busy all day with that. This means I won't sleep in like I may want to. Will and I have discussed getting a new bed. We've decided what mattress to get as the one we have right now is horrible. We're also going to get a new bedroom set. I think it will look really nice in the mint green room. I'm hoping this will help me feel more rested in the mornings.

I pray for Sue and her health. For her and Brad to continue on with their fostercare classes. I know God will bless them. I pray for Will to get the respect that he deserves at work. He does a great job and should get the accountablility. I pray that Angel can get up in the mornings for school ontime, the rest of the school year.

This cold is driving me nuts. It was -14 F when I came downstairs at 6:40am. It's up to -5 F last I checked. Brrrrr. I know it's warm in the house, but I feel soooo cold.

I'm so looking forward to warmer weather.