QT 1 Peter 1:6-12

6 -7I know how great this makes you feel, even though you have to put up with every kind of aggravation in the meantime. Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it's your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory.

Aggravation! LOL.... This makes me chuckle just a little, ok really it's more of a sarcastic giggle. I am currently being tested more than I thought I would be. I've already been through the financial crisis more than once, why is this happening again? So, when Peter says that I'll come out of that fire refined... well, I guess that's why I'm in this fire. I know that all that happens in my life is for a reason, even though I never really know why. So, I read this are realize that my faith is being put to the test and in that fire. It's the only true way for me to get stronger in my faith. My faith will be His victory.

8 -9You never saw him, yet you love him. You still don't see him, yet you trust him—with laughter and singing. Because you kept on believing, you'll get what you're looking forward to: total salvation.

Today I cannot see Him. I know He's with me, but I'm just struggling to see Him. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. I must keep believing that HE will pull me through this.

10 -12The prophets who told us this was coming asked a lot of questions about this gift of life God was preparing. The Messiah's Spirit let them in on some of it—that the Messiah would experience suffering, followed by glory. They clamored to know who and when. All they were told was that they were serving you, you who by orders from heaven have now heard for yourselves—through the Holy Spirit—the Message of those prophecies fulfilled. Do you realize how fortunate you are? Angels would have given anything to be in on this!

So, Jesus suffered then was glorified. Well... I guess that's why we're still a suffering people. How fortunate? Hmmm... some days I feel that my salvation is the only thing I have going for me. That would be today. I am totally greatful for Jesus dying on the cross for me. Every time I think about this, I wonder why. I know I am not worthy of that gift.

QT- 1 Peter

1 Peter 1 MSG

1 -2 I, Peter, am an apostle on assignment by Jesus, the Messiah, writing to exiles scattered to the four winds. Not one is missing, not one forgotten. God the Father has his eye on each of you, and has determined by the work of the Spirit to keep you obedient through the sacrifice of Jesus. May everything good from God be yours!

This is a much needed book for me to study this month. When Peter tell us that God hasn't forgotten me, what do I think of? ... honestly... sometimes it's "yea right" even when I know this is not true. God has his eyes on me... watching me and is with me always. Just these two verses themselves says so much to me right now. Things in my life are horrible right now and I need to get back to where God wants me... no matter what it takes... I must do this. And as for being scattered to the four winds... I'm definately one of those that is scattered. I know that God has moved to to where I am for a reason. This move was totally for Him. He made EVERYTHING fall into place for us to purchase this house 10 years ago. He's allowed things to happen to strengthen me and test me. I'm being tested again.

A New Life

3 -5 What a God we have! And how fortunate we are to have him, this Father of our Master Jesus! Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we've been given a brand-new life and have everything to live for, including a future in heaven—and the future starts now! God is keeping careful watch over us and the future. The Day is coming when you'll have it all—life healed and whole.

Just knowing that God has given me a new life... a heaven ... looking at heaven... I wonder what it will be like, but sometimes I don't. When I don't wonder it's because I already know that it will be so much more than what I can even try to come up with. Yea, the future starts now. So, today I've done the things I need to do.. I took my meds this morning, which I keep forgetting to do. I'm giving time to God. This is the only way for me to get better. To get out of this funky depression that I'm in. I know it's affecting everyone I see. I know they can see it. I'm trying, that's what counts. Knowing that God is watching me and is with me always does help. He will forever be standing by me, holding me up when I feel like falling down, pushing me in the direction He wants me to go in... HE will be there for me, no matter if people aren't. This is what I truely need to focus on. I need to trust that He has a plan.

I need to pray more as well. Things I'm praying for...

My sister... Will to get a job soon... I really don't want to deal with the financial stresses we dealt with before, I don't know if I can do it again... honestly... Strength to get up each day with a positive attitude. Strength to get through each day ... stay focused on God...

These are just a few things that I need to continually pray about. I know that what I'm dealing with right now is really not helping anyone. God doesn't want me to be worring, I know this... it's so hard not to worry. It's so hard to stay positive all the time. God will be glorified in the end... that's all that matters.

I am but a servent of His... now I need to serve others for His glory.