I can't believe I haven't blogged since last March.  Wow.  That's actually kind of scary for me.  I love writing and haven't sat down to write here for some time.  

Looking over the last year.. 

January I started working a new job.  Love the job and the people I work with.  I've been taught how to do my job, payroll and AP.  The group of people I work with are very encouraging.  It is a great atmosphere to be in. 

May - My daughter had her wisdom teeth removed and ended up with an infection in all four extraction locations. She spent three days in the hospital. This was NOT fun at all.  The poor girl was in so much pain.  The morphine they gave her did nothing for her pain. 

June - My youngest graduated middle school.  Now he's a freshman. It's so weird...

June - A friend from church passed away.  He was an amazing man of God.  

July - I didn't get to go to camp this year but I still took that week off work.  I pressure washed the house, deck and fence.  It took a little longer than a week, but I got the fence and deck stained as well as part of the house trim painted.  It looks so much better!  It was a good week even though I didn't get to go to camp.  

August - we took a hike as a family! It was awesome. We took two last year. One was in Wisconsin the other in Volo.  Most of the family was there, only one couldn't make it to both.  

September - the chaos started here.  Grandma passed away, hubby's grandma.  She was 103yrs 10mos old!  What an amazing life she led.  The family got together and told stories.  Ones that she had told them once and stories of her.  It was amazing. 

I also learned that I know more ASL than I thought I knew.  I got to spend the day chatting with hubby's nephew who is deaf.  So it was practice for me.  It was very enlightening for me.  Since closing my daycare I haven't had the opportunity to use ASL.  I used to teach the kids sign - it was amazing to have a 14 mo old be able to tell you what was wrong instead of them just crying.  

There was a great marriage workshop that the hubby and I were able to attend.  It was a great day with time spend with friends.  Learned much about ourselves and about how we can make good changes in our marriage. 

October - Funeral #3- a friend's mom  Funeral #4 - a friend  Funeral #5 - a close friend's mom.

November - A teen friend at church was baptized.  It was awesome.  The hubby made an amazing dinner for everyone for the event.  

I passed my hearing test, mostly.  LOL.... I didn't fail.  Was told that I will probably have an issue in several more years.  Nothing to worry about now. 

Thanksgiving arrived... I have the best sister and mom anyone could ever have!  We got together, the 10 of us.  It is always a great time.  I love being around my family!  

Along with that brought funeral #6. My aunt that was fighting with cancer.  She lost.  I know it was a sad experience, however, I got to spend 6 hours in the car with my mom and my sister!  That was the best day I've had with them in such a LONG time.  It was so amazing to spend such a great day with them.  Just the three of us.  We were late for the funeral, but we made it.  

December - Christmas was brought to a halt on Dec. 21.  I got a call from my sister on my way to work.  My Aunt Norma died, she was murdered.  This was a shock to everyone.  It was a Friday, the week after the shootings in CT at the elementary school Sandy Hook.  Aunt Norma's car was missing. Sunday it was found and a 17yr old boy was arrested and charged with her murder.  

This has really affected me.  The kid broke into her house and stole some money and her car.  Before leaving the house he killed her.  Cause of death was ruled as blunt force trauma to her head. 

I was lucky though.  My best friend was already on her way to our area to visit with family for Christmas.  Her, her husband and another friend drove from Colorado to Illinois through horrible snow.  I got to see her two days later. That lifted me.  I love spending time with her!  

She and her husband drove another three hours to attend my aunt's funeral in Indiana, in a blizzard.  They are amazing!  

The funeral was so hard!  (Funeral #7)

Two days after the funeral my best friend found her nephew dead from an overdose.  Devastating is an understatement.  

This is now funeral #8.  I could hardly tell my best friend good bye at the funeral.  I didn't want her to leave.  I knew she had to go back to Colorado so that she could turn around and go to Ireland to take care of another sister of hers.  

The same day as the funeral I had spent the morning in the hospital with the hubby.  Two days later he had surgery to have his gallbladder removed. 

This was just a couple weeks ago. I feel like I'm living a soap opera.  

I am so grateful that I am on the medications that I'm on.  I've already been told by the counselor that I see that if I weren't taking care of my mental health the rest of my health could be suffering.  That I could be off the deep end.  The difference is that I know that God is with me through everything.  

He has helped me get through all of this... if you think about the past year that I've written about, I've attended 8 funerals and had 5 others that I didn't attend due to whatever circumstances.  Tomorrow would be #9, but I don't think I could handle going. 

God will get me through anything else that comes my way.  I am sure of this.  Now is the time for recovering.  One day at a time.  This is the way to take it.  

So this is my crazy life... take it or leave it.  I'm in the middle of it.  This year I have things I'm looking forward to.  I'm making some great friends that will last a long time.  

The evening has turned into night... so I need to get some sleep soon.  

I would love to get some amazing photos posted here soon.  Just need to get it done.  I love photography and have taken some beautiful pictures.   

March already?

Honestly, I can't believe it's mid March! My plan hasn't panned out..

So, in January I had the opportunity to get hired as a part time receptionist working with a friend of mine. I took advantage of that. So, tomorrow it will be my two month anniversary. Yes, that's funny. I really like where I'm working. The hours are great.

I finally got my final diagnosis. Bipolar with depressive and anxiety disorder, also pretty sure after a few more sessions I'll be told I have ADD as well. I know I have so many of the symptoms it's crazy.

As I'm learning more about bipolar I can see how I've dealt with this my whole life. Different aspects have come full circle. I now understand why I've lost so many friends over the years. It must be difficult to live with me... oh wait... I know it is. My poor husband. The things he must go thru... LOL.

I think I'll post some things at one point or another about how my mind actually works. It's very bizarre at times. I really do live in another world at times. So, if you know someone with bipolar disorder, you're not alone. And they're not crazy. It's just the way we are.

2012 Plan

Ps 54:2 Hear my prayer, O God; listen to the words of my mouth.

So, many people make a resolution at the beginning of the year. I'm not doing that. I'm making a plan for 2012. Very basic for me but this is what I'm wanting to do. Today may be only the second day of the year, but I'm making sure God's word is in it for me.

Yesterday was great. There was a great message given by Winston in the North Region. Hopefully it will be posted here soon http://chicagochurch.org/north-sermons It was about spiritual growth, which is what I'm working on personally. I'm looking at keeping my eyes focused on Jesus, no matter what's going on. I need to retrain myself to do this naturally.

Prayer, that is something I need more of. I need to talk with God so much more than I do now. I feel that I've let Him down by not asking Him for the help I really need to have. This blog is going to be for more than just spiritual growth this year. This is going to be me, plain and simple, posting whatever I feel like posting. I want to share how He really affects my life, not just on the surface which is what I've been doing in the past. This blog has been slow going and I want it to grow as well.

Last year in January I told several people that 2011 was going to be the year of change. Well, 2012 is the year of growth. Changes that happened in 2011 - oh my... many.

In February my husband started attending church with me on a regular basis. God had called him loud enough for him to hear... and he responded.

I closed my home daycare June first. That was very difficult for me. Been doing it for 11 1/2 years. So, Will and I were both unemployed.

Went to camp in July! Amazing time! Looking forward to it again this July.

August I started working at Burger King as an assistant manager. Worked nights, very difficult for me. I didn't see any of the family. It sent me into a deep depression and my anxiety level skyrocketed.

August also brought a great day! My husband was baptized and saved! After 14 years of being a Christian, my husband finally joined me. It's changed so many aspects of our lives.

November I was diagnosed with bipolar NOS, preliminary diagnosis really as I am still waiting for the final diagnosis. I'm off my depression meds and am involved in a support group.

December was filled with the holidays. But first I gave notice and quit BK. I liked what I was doing and the people I worked with were great, but I just couldn't do it anymore. Between the hours and the time away from my family I felt like I was loosing myself.

I noticed that within those months working at BK that I missed more church and church related events than I had in the last 15 years of attending this church. That was really scary.

So, 2012 will be a year of growth for me. It's not a resolution, it's a plan. One that I have a plan for. It's not just, "Oh, I need to loose weight" and not know how to go about it. Yes I need to do that, drastically, but I have a plan on how to do it. I'll post about that another time.

So, I'm sticking to the plan and not a resolution! Because those never work... but a specific plan usually does!

Depression

My depression has returned to me full throttle. I have been off my meds now for more than 2 months, which I know many have said not to do. I understand that it will be a daily struggle until I can turn my thoughts into Godly thoughts all the time. Ok, I understand that's a bit unrealistic, however, I'll set a goal for 90% of the time. That would be awesome.

So, the last several days have been a horrible struggle for me. I feel like I want to cry all the time, feel angry and wanting to be alone. There so many emotions and things that go along with depression. For me, I want to sleep, and sleep, and sleep. Today I fought that though. With help from my husband, I got up at 5am and exercised. Yes, exercise is a way of helping eliminate symptoms of depression. So, I did it reluctantly. We did the cardio P90X today. It was a good workout, but didn't boost my emotional state one bit.

So, today I was given the following scriptures to look at:

Isaiah 61:10 (The Message)

^10-11I will sing for joy in God,
explode in praise from deep in my soul!
He dressed me up in a suit of salvation,
he outfitted me in a robe of righteousness,
As a bridegroom who puts on a tuxedo
and a bride a jeweled tiara.
For as the earth bursts with spring wildflowers,
and as a garden cascades with blossoms,
So the Master, God, brings righteousness into full bloom
and puts praise on display before the nations.

So, I need to make sure I'm giving God the praise He so deserves. Being as beautiful as He sees me. Allow myself to sing with praise all day long...

Psalm 34 (The Message)

Psalm 34

¹ I bless God every chance I get; my lungs expand with his praise. God gave be breath!

² I live and breathe God;
if things aren't going well, hear this and be happy: Yes as they do in life... that's why it's called life.

³ Join me in spreading the news;
together let's get the word out. Come see His glory everyone!

⁴ God met me more than halfway,
he freed me from my anxious fears. My favorite part as I know I can not always make it half way. He will remove my stress and anxieties. He will give me relief.

⁵ Look at him; give him your warmest smile.
Never hide your feelings from him. How can I not even think of Him without smiling at Him? He loves me just the way I am. He created me, even with my depression, with my faults, with my strengths, with my failures. He has given me times to excel and times to grow. He has given me everything.

⁶ When I was desperate, I called out,
and God got me out of a tight spot. Oh, how I call out to Him in desperation. Praying for Him to help me get through one day, then the next. To see the beauty in each day He's given me. He's helped me more than all the friends I have, put together. He will always be there for me.

⁷ God's angel sets up a circle
of protection around us while we pray. Wow.... God sends His angels to be with me! I can feel their embrace and warmth of their love.

⁸ Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see—
how good God is.
Blessed are you who run to him. Open your eyes and see! God is good! God is wonderful! God is amazing!

⁹ Worship God if you want the best;
worship opens doors to all his goodness. There is absolutely no reason not to worship Him.

¹⁰ Young lions on the prowl get hungry,
but God-seekers are full of God. I want to be full of God and His glory!

¹¹ Come, children, listen closely;
I'll give you a lesson in God worship. Close your mouth and listen to God's word!

¹² Who out there has a lust for life?
Can't wait each day to come upon beauty?

¹³ Guard your tongue from profanity,
and no more lying through your teeth. This is so easy these days. Swearing and lying are so commonplace that the majority of people do not see anything wrong with it. Well... there is ... God doesn't want us to do either, both are sinful!

¹⁴ Turn your back on sin; do something good.
Embrace peace—don't let it get away! Another favorite of mine here. Sin can be made of so many different things. I know it's easy for me to be jealous of others, feel bad about myself, and several other things, but these are sinful behaviors that I must turn my back on. God wants me to be with Him, not in sin. Peace... I need to learn how to embrace it!

¹⁵ God keeps an eye on his friends,
his ears pick up every moan and groan. He's watching us all the time and hears our pleas.

¹⁶ God won't put up with rebels;
he'll cull them from the pack. Follow HIM!

¹⁷ Is anyone crying for help? God is listening,
ready to rescue you. Oh my gosh, who isn't crying for help from God at some point in their life? I know that I do it often. God listens to me... and to you.

¹⁸ If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there;
if you're kicked in the gut, he'll help you catch your breath. My heart may not be broken in ways others may understand, however, it has cracks in it that need some mending. God is the caulk that will fill those cracks and glue my heart back together.

¹⁹ Disciples so often get into trouble;
still, God is there every time. We all sin, even Christians. God is still there for us.

²⁰ He's your bodyguard, shielding every bone;
not even a finger gets broken. Can you imagine Him as your bodyguard? Think of Him that way. He will protect you no matter what. He is always there for you.

²¹ The wicked commit slow suicide;
they waste their lives hating the good. Do you hate what is good?

²² God pays for each slave's freedom;
no one who runs to him loses out. Take a deep breath and RUN to Him...

One favorite phrase I've heard:
When you can no longer run - walk, when you can not walk - crawl, when you cannot crawl - HE WILL CARRY YOU!

I need to allow Him to carry me further than ever before. Great things are happening in my life and I know Satan is trying to pull me down. Make me weak, before God can be truly glorious in my household. However, I have God as my rock and foundation... He will keep me strong and feeling hopeful. He will lead me to where I need to be for all this to work the way He wants it to be.

God will be glorious in the end!

Power of Prayer

Psalm 88: ¹ LORD, you are the God who saves me; day and night I cry out to you. ² May my prayer come before you; turn your ear to my cry.

Today is such a beautiful day. I woke to the overcast sky, but we have a sky. My annoying alarm woke me from such a great sleep, which of course I would always love to now wake up from, but I am grateful that I did. Even with that annoying alarm.

My focus as of late has been learning more about how to change the way I think naturally. When I write I have the opportunity to think before I write, which makes what I want to say much clearer and usually more optimistic. Unfortunately, inside my head the first thoughts are not always the best. To help my mind change the way it thinks, I have made some decisions. I need to focus more time and energy on God, period! To do this I am reading other books now. I just finished Cartwheels in the Rain, by Joe Dubowski. It's an inspirational story of him overcoming the grief he found himself in when Gayle was killed (@NIU 2/14/08). I remember many things from my point of view as I read his book. No matter what happens in your life, God is always with you. You're job is never really done. Even after Gayle died, she is still an inspiration to many people, and a joy to remember. I wish I had known her better.

The book I'm reading now is Mind Change, by Thomas Jones. I've read it once before and it helped me at that time. There is also a devotional book that I may purchase at a later time, I'm not sure yet. I wanted to re-read this book as it helped me overcome my depressive thoughts in the past. I need to find many ways to stay focused on the truth and not on what negative things pop into my head.

As for Psalms 88:1-2 prayer can be so powerful. It can help in so many ways. God knows what we want to pray for, even if we cannot put it into words. This happened to be what Sunday's message was about. How even when you don't know what to say to God, just saying to Him "help me" is a prayer. God hears all prayers. Yes, I know, we may not like the answer we get, but he does answer us.

I have also begun writing more in my personal journal. I want so much to write more than I do. I know there is so much stored in my head and I want to get it out. To do this I want to write.

^{Psalm 88: 1} LORD, you are the God who saves me;
day and night I cry out to you.
² May my prayer come before you;
turn your ear to my cry.

Call out in prayer when you need to... yell to God... cry out to God... pray quietly... whisper to Him... have a conversation with Him... Prayers are answered. Watch the ripple affects once a prayer is answered, no matter how it is answered. How will you respond to His answer?

Even if the answer is not what you expected, will you be joyful? Will you rejoice in any sufferings you go through? Look at it this way... God has entrusted you with going thru whatever He's put infront of you. If you have an illness, God has entrusted you with it. Will you embrace this illness? Or will you be angry and spiteful toward Him? Will you face it with prayer and trust that no matter the outcome God will be with you throughout the whole ordeal? Don't push Him away, allow Him to carry you sometimes to get you through one day. Pray for Him to carry you, to help you through whatever is thrown at you.

He will help you if you allow Him to!

God is AMAZING!

Putting things into words are difficult right now. It's amazing to see where I've been and where I'm going. What's even more amazing is that my husband has begun his journey to find the truth in God. In the past three weeks there have been many changes in our household and many more to come. God has truly shined His light on our family right now!

Will has decided that he wants to make his life right with God. This in itself is an answered prayer. He's done so much in just a short time! His heart is on fire for the truth of God.

In simple terms; God is changing my life drastically. I can only imagine where we will be in a month, or a year...

God is glorious!

Wow!

Psalm 19:14 May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

I have been focusing on this passage for a few weeks now. Trying to make sure that whatever I say to my husband is in a Godly manor and not negative. Of course, I'm not perfect and I have stumbled. I'm sure I've said things that both made no sense and things that were hurtful. This is not the way God wants me to be living my life. He wants me to be encouraging to others.

With having depression, this has been difficult often. My nature is to be negative toward everything and not to encourage others. I am working on this with everything I do. I am working on being more aware of what I say and how I say it.

God is an awesome instructor!

Too long

As it has been almost two months since I've posted here, there have been many new events in my life. The holidays were very difficult this year. Thanksgiving was good. We spent it at my sister's. I love getting the chance to visit her and Mom. I miss them more than they know. Each time I get to visit I realize how much I miss them. I would love to live closer but that's just not going to happen right now.

Christmas was a major struggle for me. I know that for whatever reason God has allowed my family to be humbled this year. My hubby hasn't worked since May 2009... so Dec was 19 months. This is the first year I didn't spend a dime on Christmas or send out any cards. It was so difficult. I know God has a plan though. He will work things out and it's ok. We had a good Christmas anyway. We spent the day together as a family. We played a couple different games and in the end it was a good weekend together.

The stresses of life has taken it's toll on me lately. I've become very depressed and unsure of the future. Luckily, when I look at it in God's view... everything will be alright. He walks with me daily, He knows what I feel, He will push me through the rough days when I can no longer walk. He is my rock, my sword and my shield.

From one of the teens today: Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23

I have to say that I am a very lucky person. I have some amazing people in my life! In the last two summers I have had the honor of assisting at church camp. This has given me the opportunity to meet some amazing people. I know that many adults do not view teens the way I do. The kids I know... wow, they are so awesome.

Yesterday I was encouraged by several. I had the opportunity to chat with a few after church and can truly see God working in their lives. He is so previlent in their lives, it's amazing. I cherish each and every one of my friends, even the ones that are under 20! They can be the most amazing. Fighting off the world while in the middle of it. Encouragement like that is awesome. I love each one of them! There are several who know how special they are to me... I will keep reminding them too.

I am hoping to get in a true QT later today, but wanted to blog anyway today. These things have been on my heart and I wanted to share it.

Dying to Self - Life from Death

^{John 12:20} Now there were some Greeks among those who went up to worship at the festival. ²¹ They came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, with a request. “Sir,” they said, “we would like to see Jesus.” ²² Philip went to tell Andrew; Andrew and Philip in turn told Jesus.

²³ Jesus replied, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. ²⁴ Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. ²⁵ Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. ²⁶ Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.

v23 - What do you think of when you hear that someone is about to receive "glory"? Praise in any fashion... applause... everyone knows about it.

v24 - Jesus indicates that the way he will find his glory is by becoming that seed that falls to the ground and dies. What does he say will be the impact of the seed that dies? If the seed dies, it will produce many more seeds. Jesus died for us (as did the kernel of wheat) he became that seed and produced many more seeds.

v26- why is this exciting? God is going to honor us that follows Jesus! How could that not be exciting?

Just the thought itself of God wanting to honor me is unfathomable. Just because I decided to follow Jesus, God want's to make sure I'm taken care of in many ways.

Honestly, this week has been a good week for me. I'm doing what I can to focus on God and the kingdom instead of the issues going on in my life. There are many things that I can get wrapped up in worry over, however, I'm choosing to allow God to take control of these things. I still need to be praying more, even though I have now gotten my quiet times moving in the right direction. I currently have a head cold which has made me even spacier than usual, so I will still have to work on my prayer time. Right now, when I close my eyes, I feel like falling asleep.

I would really like to wake up feeling refreshed and energetic. One day this will happen! I know I need to loose weight, big time, between that and exercising better I'm sure that I'll sleep a little better. I'm also sure that when God puts a job infront of Will, the financial worries will disappear from my list. So, if you pray, pray for that... for Will to find a job. I haven't decided what I'm going to fast from yet for this, but I will find something to fast from until he's working again. Suggestions are welcome.

Dying to Self - New Attitude

What do I think when I read these passages:

Phil 2:¹⁴ Do everything without grumbling or arguing, ¹⁵ so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky

This one is well used with us parents, we just need to use it ourselves. Stop complaining so you can be blameless in God's sight and SHINE like the stars.

Phil 3: ⁷ But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. ⁸ What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ ⁹ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in^[a] Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. ¹⁰ I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, ¹¹ and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

Everything is garbage if it's not Jesus!

Phil 4:⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

This says it all alone... rejoice in the Lord! Be happy and glad no matter what comes your way.

PHil 4:¹¹ I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.

This is one of the most difficult things to do... be content no matter what. I have to respond to this! I need to be content with the way God has put my life together. He has given me so much wonderful things in my life... there's no reason to feel low about anything.


Phil 4:⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

In Jesus Christ we have all we need to maintain a great attitude. True or false? reason?
This is so true. When we are saved, that's the best thing ever! This is the reason for Jesus. So, with Him we can be happy no matter what. Besides, if you're saved and going to heaven the little things of the earth are just that... of the earth... not of heaven. It is really hard to remember this, especially for those of us who suffer with depression naturally, but we can do it. No matter what our hurdles are, as long as Jesus is in our lives we can survive it with a good attitude. He will sit by us every day. He will shove us in the right direction when we need it. It's up to us whether we are going to follow that thin path He's made for us. It's the hardest path to follow, but we can do it.

John 16:³³ “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Peace, what a concept! See! Even Jesus says we'll have trouble in our lives. It's not that being saved makes your life trouble free, not one bit, it's just that with Him you can have peace. You can overcome the world as He did. You no longer need to live like those around you... greedy, envious, angry, bitter, etc.

Romans 8: ²⁸ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Wow! God works for those who love him.

James 1:² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

This is so hard to do while you're in the middle of trials... be happy about it. You'll have trials, problems in your life, this will not change. Following God does not mean they will go away, only that God is always with you and will help you find the right answers. It will help you grow and mature in your life as you face these trials and problems.

Now to remember each day to put these into practice! I need to remember these scriptures. God wants me to continue growing stronger and lean on Him when I need some help. I will do this. Praying will help as well. Specific prayers, not just for others, but for the needs of myself and my family. Everyone needs to do this as well.

Dying to Self - Taking Correction

Proverbs 2: ¹ My son, if you accept my words
and store up my commands within you,
² turning your ear to wisdom
and applying your heart to understanding—
³ indeed, if you call out for insight
and cry aloud for understanding,
⁴ and if you look for it as for silver
and search for it as for hidden treasure,
⁵ then you will understand the fear of the LORD
and find the knowledge of God.
⁶ For the LORD gives wisdom;
from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
⁷ He holds success in store for the upright,
he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,
⁸ for he guards the course of the just
and protects the way of his faithful ones.

Proverbs 12: ¹⁵ The way of fools seems right to them,
but the wise listen to advice.

Proverbs 10: ¹⁷ Whoever heeds discipline shows the way to life,
but whoever ignores correction leads others astray.

We all need correction. What is the message in these scriptures? God will give us the answers to our questions, even if we don't like the answer. Sometimes we just need to look into His word to learn our lessons in life. He will always be there, but we need to learn from others as well. This is the reason there are other Christians in our lives... to help us learn.

My attitude about being corrected: I honestly don't mind it most of the time. Sometimes I will have an attitude toward whomever is correcting me. There are specific people that can cause a negative reaction from me when they correct me or my actions. I know that if someone is going out and correcting me about something than I need to make a change.

Proverbs 15: ⁹ The LORD detests the way of the wicked,

but he loves those who pursue righteousness.

¹⁰ Stern discipline awaits anyone who leaves the path;
the one who hates correction will die.

Proverbs 12:¹ Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge,
but whoever hates correction is stupid.

2 Timothy 3:¹⁶ All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, ¹⁷ so that the servant of God^[a] may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

If someone is going to help me learn and teach me thru God's word... awesome. This can equip me with the power to overcome the issue. When it is brought to me in a worldly manner, good cannot always come from it. No matter what if I remember to keep God's word on my heart, I can learn and become a better Christian.

Personal note:

I have seen recently one person that has shown an amazing repentance of heart. This person asked for help, God's word was put into place and amazing things can now happen in this person's life. I can't wait to witness it.

I need to make many changes in myself. If anyone who reads these blogs knows of scriptures that can help me, that would be wonderful. I need to change my eating habits and make sure that I treat my body as God wants me to; as his temple. I know what I need to do, the actual doing is the hard part. Chocolate and pop are the downfall for me. I need to make a major effort to change something and become a healthier me, for God, not just for weight loss and control. I need to treat my life as He sees it, special and a gift.

Dying to Self - Life in the Spirit

Before starting today's study, ask yourself a very important question: "Am I making every effort to be in close contact with other Christians?" This is crucial, and in future studies we will focus on the importance of relationships. Most of us have some tendency from tie to time for various reasons to pull back from others. Spiritually, this can be FATAL! Even when you don't "feel like it," stay in touch.

Romans 7: ¹⁴ We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. ¹⁵ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ¹⁶ And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸ For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

²¹ So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. ²² For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; ²³ but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. ²⁴ What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?

We are powerless to live this life without God's help. It is clear why we must "disown" the sinful nature. ²⁴ What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?

Romans 8: ¹ Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, ² because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you^[a] free from the law of sin and death. ³ For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh,^[b] God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering.^[c] And so he condemned sin in the flesh, ⁴ in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

⁵ Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. ⁶ The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. ⁷ The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. ⁸ Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.

⁹ You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ. ¹⁰ But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life because of righteousness. ¹¹ And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you.

¹² Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. ¹³ For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.

¹⁴ For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. ¹⁵ The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” ¹⁶ The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. ¹⁷ Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

Well, looking at this is amazing. What am I doing to stay in contact with other disciples of Christ? This is one way. Unfortunately, I am in a prediciment that causes being together difficult for me. I think that the internet was a great invention and God has blessed it so much. I can keep in contact with other Christians this way. When I was first a baby Christian I didn't have the internet. I could only stay in contact by phone and once in a while being with others. I truly believe that this can be used for God. I have learned that I need to make sure I stay in contact with others, I cannot depend on others to keep in touch with me. God wants me to stay in contact with Him, I should expect the same of myself... stay in contact with other people as well.

I know how important it is to be around the body of Christ. To me it's a difference of spending a full 7 days at camp then coming home. Life in my home is not the Christian lifestyle, in my beliefs. When I am away from the body my faith can become shaky. Other Christians can help keep up that zeal for God.

Dying to Self - From Old to New

Romans 6:¹ What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? ² By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? ³ Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? ⁴ We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.

Read and study this carefully. Each time you come to the word "we" or "us" substitute your own name.

¹ What shall we say, then? Shall I go on sinning so that grace may increase? ² By no means! I have died to sin; how can I live in it any longer? ³ Or don’t you know that you who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? ⁴ I was therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, I too may live a new life.

What a way to look at this passage! I caused it... I need to get out of it!

Getting rid of your old self and putting on the new. What do I need to do to stay in my new self? I need to stay focused on Jesus! That's a start. Think before I react or speak. Love everyone. Stop judging others. No more getting angry, whether it's with myself or someone else. I need to be just and calm, no matter what happens.

What's the plan of attack? This is the first step. Staying with the word every day. This will help me stayed focused on all that God has done for me.

Romans 6:¹⁵ What then? Shall we sin because we are not under the law but under grace? By no means! ¹⁶ Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? ¹⁷ But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you have come to obey from your heart the pattern of teaching that has now claimed your allegiance. ¹⁸ You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.

¹⁹ I am using an example from everyday life because of your human limitations. Just as you used to offer yourselves as slaves to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer yourselves as slaves to righteousness leading to holiness. ²⁰ When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. ²¹ What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! ²² But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. ²³ For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I need to stay as far away from sin as possible. There is much I need to learn about this still.

Dying to Self - Co-Crucified with Christ

Gal 2:²⁰ I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

The word in Greek in this verse actually means "I have been co-crucified with Christ." How do we use the prefix "co"? What is a "co-worker" or "co- leader"? And so what is the message for Christians?

This to me means that even though it is Christ who was crucified physically, I was there as well. My sins were crucified. Now I'm in the body of Christ, so I can live by my faith in Him.

Mat 7?¹² So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

How do I make this part of me? Do I treat others the way God wants me to? I'm trying to. I do need to work on this however. I know that sometimes I'm not as nice as I should be, or as considerate as I can be. I will have to do some praying on this issue. Praying that God will give me the opportunities to make the changes He sees that I need. With Him I can make the changes I want to in me, I just need to make sure it's with Him and not against Him.

Dying to Self - The Power of Dying

What a difficult concept. These studies are to show us clearly that the real problem in life is. The problem is the "old self" that lives for itself. Jesus Christ calls for the old self to be crucified, and he promises to raise up a new and very different "self." It is in dying that we find life.

The studies I will be blogging about Dying to Self is from "The Disciple's Handbook" published by DPI. These are important studies for myself and many others. I really need to make some changes in my life... on of which is "dying to self". Quotes from the book I'm using will be in blue, verses from the bible in red and my own thoughts in green. I pray that this will help me build a stronger relationship with God.

Luke 9:¹⁸ Once when Jesus was praying in private and his disciples were with him, he asked them, “Who do the crowds say I am?”

¹⁹ They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, that one of the prophets of long ago has come back to life.”

²⁰ “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?”

Peter answered, “God’s Messiah.”

Jesus Predicts His Death

²¹ Jesus strictly warned them not to tell this to anyone. ²² And he said, “The Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.”

²³ Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. ²⁴ For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. ²⁵ What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self? ²⁶ Whoever is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.

Well, who do you think Jesus really is? Is he the son of God or just a prophet? Is he just a man from the past that did really cool things? Me, I totally believe that Jesus is the son of God. He is my savior.

vs23 - denying yourself. What is it when you deny yourself? Absolutely nothing in the negative. Jesus is telling us that we need to deny the sinful nature we have. Don't allow ourselves to do the things that the world wants us to do.

vs24 - loosing your life but saving it? This can be so confusing. We look at loosing life as in physically dying. It's not in this point. We need to leave the sinful life we are leading behind us. If we can do this... we gain our salvation.

vs25 - gaining the whole world... what is in the world that you can take with you when you die? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. So, why do we want to have better things than everyone else? We need to give up the worldly life and live for God... not ourselves.

Luke 18: ²⁸ Peter said to him, “We have left all we had to follow you!” ²⁹ “Truly I tell you,” Jesus said to them, “no one who has left home or wife or brothers or sisters or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God ³⁰ will fail to receive many times as much in this age, and in the age to come eternal life.”

How do you expect this to work out in your life? Such a difficult concept. Leaving your family (whether is wife, husband, brother, sister, mom or day) is actually leaving the way they are living if they are living a life other than for God. It's all about getting to heaven. That's the goal of a Christian. Live your life as God tells us to in the Bible. Do not do as your family in the world does.

This aspect is very important to me. Studying out this again is necessary. I do not know how many times I've ready or studied out dying to oneself. It's an ongoing process. Sin will always creep up on you. It's how you handle it that's important. I've been learning more about myself and what God is wanting me to do in my life. I know I'm living as far away from His kingdom for some reason, He's not going to share that reason with me right now, but I know one day He will.

Giving up the worldly aspects and wants is what God wants us to give up. Live for HIM not for oneself.

The Walk

My walk is the only one I know. I look at other people and see that I know God does not want me dealing with their issues, but with mine. He's given me specific things in my life. I shall handle them the best that I can.

Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will. 2 Timothy 2:22-26 NIV

God wants us to follow Him no matter what our trials are. He wants us to pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace together with other Christians. Be kind to everyone. Hmmm, ever have a difficult time with that? I know I do sometimes. I have to bite on my tongue so I do not start quarrels. This is what we've been taught as kids... think about what you're going to say before you say it. Putting this into practice is difficult. It's much easier to just say whatever comes to mind, not thinking or caring about the other person. This is now how God wants us to treat each other. We need to be nice and loving to everyone, even those we do not like and those that sin against us.

To do this we need to know God's love. It's not possible without it. The only way we can learn to forgive and love others is by reading God's word and learning how He wants us to live. Once we learn how we're forgiven, then we can truly forgive someone else. Forgiving is a difficult thing for some, but it's amazing when you are able to do that.

God forgives us for our sins. For all the bad things we do in our lives. He still loves us... no matter. Now get off your butt and follow Him. Read his word. Live your life for Him!

Today it's a difficult day for me to do these things as I'm completely exhausted. Wednesday nights are late nights for me and already having lack of sleep in my system makes it more difficult to feel rested in the mornings. So today I'm doing the best I can to focus on Him and do what I can for Him, not me alone.

Putting on my Armor

The Armor of God

Eph 6:¹⁰Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. ¹²For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. ¹⁸And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

¹⁹Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, ²⁰for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

Have I put on my armor today? Not as well as I would like, but that will improve with time. Just like anything else, the more you practice the better you can become at something. When you fall down trying, pick yourself up and try it again. This is where I am. I'm picking myself up and starting again. Wonder what this means? Basically, I have not been the Christian that I expect myself to be. I believe that if I am going to make an impact on anyone for God, then I need to live the life He wants me to be living. I need to seek him out every day. I need to pray continusly. Over and over, living on the Word of my God. The one true God!

¹³Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Every day we need to do this. Put on your armor of God. Each piece has a special meaning and it will help you walk with Him daily. Defeating the satan when he attacks you... which he will do it often. Just when you least expect it, you'll be hit with something. This is when He wants you to see Him. He's here with me daily. I can see God walking with me. Helping me to learn more and grow.

THE ARMOR OF GOD:

¹⁴Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,

Here are two pieces; the belt of truth and the breastplate of righteousness. TRUTH - be truthful with God and yourself as well as others. The breastplate will protect your heart and help keep you righteous.

¹⁵and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.

Reading the word will make you ready for your race, each day.

¹⁶In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

Your faith will definately help you get through anything that God allows satan to throw at you. No matter what if you are faithful with God, He will be there with you. He will not leave you alone, never. Life is no way near perfect, however, if you allow yourself to stay faithful God will carry you through whatever comes your way.

¹⁷Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God

The helmet and sword.... which is the word. This is so simple. The word of God (the bible) tells us how to handle things, what should be important in our lives. If we are not reading the word, we loose sight of what He wants of us. We forget, start putting other things first, instead of Him. So grab that helmet to remember those scriptures, or at least read the word. Make sure you have that sword in your hand to fight off the world. The world will try to corrupt you and lead you away from the truth. God's word is the truth.

8And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Pray, pray and then pray some more. Praying doesn't have to be anything specific. When I'm praying, I talk to God just like I talk to people. God is my best friend. He knows every little bit of me. He knows the good and the bad. He knows what will get me through a day and what will bring me down. I know that satan knows those things as well. When I get pummeled by satan, I know that God will pull be through.

Today I start fresh. I began my day in worship with Him. Singing in the shower, yep... listening to some great music and singing to Him. I am looking at my day in a fresh way. Each day is new and amazing. God did so much to make it possible for me to be here, even for me to be able to blog my spiritual walk so that you can read this. Without Him we would have no heaven. Jesus is the way and the truth. He died on the cross so you and I could get to heaven. When I think about that, it just amazes me. Someone died for me, knowing I was going to sin even when I don't want to or tell myself I'm not going to do that again.

God is amazing. He made a beautiful day. He made such wonderful smells, colors for us to see, tastes, plants to create medicines, gave us the brains how to use these things and above all, he gave us His son.

Quest Camp... continued

I know I haven't finished my discussion on my experience at camp this year. There is still so much to tell. Our days at camp were a meer 7. That's it! Seven days to see God... It was the God channel... God all day every day! It was awesome!

Each day started with our time with God, showers, breakfast, and clean up. Once the slow part of the morning was over, then it was time for Worship LIVE. This was always a wonderful time filled with music galore! What a way to wake up in the morning! The singing was amazing!

We had morning messages after that. Each day was different and given by a different person. We learned about: The Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit, Holiness and Who Am I? After each morning message we had a reflection time. Each day was a little different. The day we learned about The Son there were cross stations around camp. We would go together in groups and learn by visually seeing what Jesus went through as he was crucified. Can you even imagine what He went through?

This was an experience that moved hearts! This was not just for the teens... the counselors were moved just as much by the same teachings.

Each day after our reflection time we had lunch then free time. Our lunches... well, they were a blast! This would be an understatement. How do you control 180 hungry teens and 40+ counselors and workers that would like to eat? You have to answer a question to get your table excused for a meal. Yep! The questions could be anything. Name that tune was always a great one. Then there were the questions about West Virginia... how funny is that? None of us are from there, except the camp leader! So that's how you control a mob of hungry people!

We always had some great music with our meals as well. Fun thing was when people would break out and dance or sing along with the music. There are a couple of videos from these meals. One is a blast... from Footloose... Devon was so funny, dancing just like Kevin Bacon! It was so much fun!

So, this is the first half of the day! So much already! We've been fed spiritually, physically and just having a great time!

October

It's so amazing how it's already October. It is so true that as you get older time goes by quicker. I really think we can slow it down in our own mind's eye if we really want to. This is my way of doing that. I take a step out of my day and write. This is where it begins, even when it's in the evening like right now.

Tomorrow is BYND (bring your neighbor day) at church. This has always been a struggle with me, inviting people. I know that satan is going to try to find ways to stop us from inviting others to see God's truth. In all honesty, I had the perfect opportunity this Thursday and I blew it. I did however, return to the topic and ask the person via email. There's been no response, but that's ok.

It's so difficult for me to ask people near where I live to join me at church. This is due to my location. There is a church within walking distance of my house, but instead of going to a local church I go to one that I know teaches the truth about God and his Word. Where people are not interpreting the bible as they want to, but as it's written. So, I drive 35 miles to get there. Most times I also pick up a teen whose family does not go either. So, I leave my house around 8am for the 10am service. I don't mind the drive most times, I enjoy driving and I have my iPOD with me 99% of the time. I will listen to my music and worship God on my drive! I think it's a great way to start a morning worship. Jammin' to some great Christian music.

This year I've definately learned to like other music, even rap! That has to do with camp! That's something else I need to finish up... my camp blog! I can't wait for next year's camp already... but I'll wait.

Last Saturday I was thrilled to be a chaperon to the midwest churches homecoming dance. Oh my gosh! It was awesome! The music was great! The kids were great! The dancing was awesome! I took 196 pictures!

The best thing was that I didn't tell many of the teens that I was going to be there, I wanted to surprise a few. Boy did I! The best response was by one young lady that was in my cabin this year. She was in line waiting to get in and came running up to me. Yelling my name and gave me a great big hug. It made me feel so special, I almost cried.

The bonds you forge with other believers can be so tight! Yes, even from a younger generation. I still have such respect for the teens I've gotten to know over the last two years. They can be so inspiring. So loving. So fun! They know what the truth is from God. They live as best as they can as Christians and still have a blast in life. They are a wonderful example for everyone to see!

Well, now all I'm thinking about are the kids from camp! Trust me, it's not a bad thing one bit. The experiences I've had over those two weeks (2009 & 2010) have totally changed me. What these teens go through and still they stand firm in their beliefs... makes my driving 35 miles one way seem like NOTHING.

They are truly amazing and am so glad that I have had the opportunity to get to know so many.

Fitting in

Isn't it so great that you can still learn things as you get older? Well, I think it is. I did some learning this weekend. Most of us want to "fit in" sometime in our lives. Whether it's in elementary school, middle/jr high school, high school, work place, church, family, neighbors, we all have the same need at one point in our lives. Well, I've always felt like I never fit in anywhere. I've come to learn some things about it this weekend. First, and foremost, it's ok not to fit in. Wow! I've always wanted to fit in and never felt like I do. Well, I don't fit in really. But... I've learned that it's ok.

Acts 2:⁴⁴All the believers were together and had everything in common.

So, God tells us here that we will have everything in common as long as the body of believers are together. This is amazing. Think about that.

Acts 3: ¹One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the time of prayer—at three in the afternoon.

So, Peter and John were best friends... they didn't start that way, but Jesus brought them together with him and James many times. The four were inseperable friends! Peter and John didn't pray once a day... they prayed often together.

Acts 2: ⁴⁶Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, ⁴⁷praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people.

Getting together with other believers will make your bond with them stronger. They will become "family" and your best friends. They would eat together and share time together. They would praise God together. Key word here.... TOGETHER! When you are away from the body of Christ, you can become more like the "world" and not focused on God.

There are several examples in the new testament that show how Jesus had brought Peter, John and James with him on many occasions to pray together and be with him. He was teaching them that we cannot get down the road to heaven alone. If someone tells you they don't need to go to church or to be around other Christians, that they can survive on their faith alone, they need to be shown the truth. The road to heaven is so difficult to get down, we need to help each other get there. This is the purpose of the church.

Now, back to my main point... fitting in. Do we "fit in" at church? If we believe together than we fit in. It doesn't matter if you're married, single, a teen, college (or campus) student, over 50, a kid or anything else, what matters is your love for God.

I have felt like I don't fit in at church, but I realize now that I was wrong. I was looking at it in a catagory format... not the truth. I'm married but my husband does not have the same beliefs, I'm not single, but I am spiritually as I am leading my household spiritually,and I'm not a teen or campus student. However, I am a believer of God, the great almighty one who doesn't see me in any of those ways. He sees me as the daughter He created. One who loves many and tries to live like He wants me to. So, "fitting in" doesn't really matter.

BTW, I learned this when I was with the teens this weekend. I realize I haven't finished my journal about camp, but just know that these teens are so amazing. I always feel so special when I'm around them. They are such loving young adults! If you do not know anyone like that... come follow me.... I can show you some amazing and loving people. GOD'S PEOPLE! True Christians who make mistakes and repent, but love more than you could ever believe!

I just love the teens in our ministry!